Week 3: I Tried to Escape the Room… It Was Worse

I’m not going to sugar coat this week.

It’s been brutal.

I’ve applied for around 20 jobs in the last couple of weeks. Anything that feels like it might give me a bit of breathing space… I’ve gone for it.

At this point, I’ve even applied to be a milkman.

Because if I’m honest, I’m not just “settling in” anymore.

I’m trying to figure out how to get out.

This week, I even offered to work in the kitchen. I thought a change of scenery, a bit of a break from the room, might help reset things.

It didn’t.

If anything, it made me realise just how drained I actually am.

There was a moment in the kitchen where I nearly completely lost it. I checked the dietary requirements about ten times for each child, just to make sure I hadn’t missed anything. Then someone questioned me on a child’s allergens and my mind just went blank.

I couldn’t answer.

I panicked.

And I had to go back and check it all again… another ten times.

Not because I didn’t know what I was doing but because I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t think straight.

Long days.

No real break.

Constant noise.

Constant pressure.

And that feeling of being needed by everyone, all the time, with nothing left for yourself.

And then you go home… and you’re still needed.

I’ve got children. I can’t just switch off or go to bed and recover.

This week I’ve let my two-year-old do my hair, paint my toenails (well… my foot), and give me a “massage” using what felt like half a tub of moisturiser.

Because that’s all I’ve had the energy for.

Although, in a moment of what I can only describe as stress sweeping in the room, I also managed to hit myself in the eyebrow with the broom.

Full on.

Watery eyes.

Immediate lump.

So yeah… that pretty much sums up the week.

I know early years is hard.

I’ve done this long enough to know what “busy” looks like. What pressure feels like. What a tough week is.

But this feels different.

This feels like I’m constantly running on empty.

And I think the hardest part is knowing that I’m not struggling because I can’t do the job…

I’m struggling because the way it’s currently working just doesn’t feel sustainable.

So yeah… this week hasn’t been about “finding my feet”.

It’s been about being honest with myself.

Because sometimes pushing through isn’t the answer.

Sometimes the most honest thing you can say is:

“This isn’t working for me.”

If you’ve ever felt like this exhausted, stuck, and quietly trying to figure out your next move you’re not alone.

I’m right there with you.

And I’m figuring it out too.

If I’m honest, I’ve found myself going over the same questions in my head this week…

Am I okay?

Is this working for me?

Is this sustainable?

The kind of check-ins we so often encourage for others… but don’t always give ourselves the time to do.

It actually reminded me of the staff wellbeing check-in questions I created not because I’ve been sitting down and filling out the document, but because I’ve needed those questions more than ever this week.

Sometimes just pausing and asking yourself the right questions is enough to bring a bit of clarity back.

If you feel like you need that too, you can find it here:

👉 Staff Wellbeing Check-In | Early Years Resourcehttps://www.littlemindsearlyyears.com/product-page/staff-wellbeing-check-in

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